how to spend 4.5 hours traveling from the airport in paris to your hotel.

We  landed in Paris at 9:30 am! It was a perfect day!
We got our luggage and went through customs quickly. 
It was a Long walk to the get to the train/metro station but we made it! 
We waited in the long line to get our metro tickets only to find that the machine didn't take our American bankcard. 
We got out of line and walked upstairs to change our money only to realize that the money exchange was downstairs. No problem, we got it!
Then back to the long line, only to find that it takes only change, no bills. 
We found a change machine and were finally able to get our ticket. 
As we walked to the platform our train would be at, we saw that it was blocked off by red tape, and we were redirected to the other side of the building. 
We must have just missed the last train because we were some of the first to get to the platform. 
A half hour after we got to the platform, there were hundreds of people there with us waiting for the train when we heard a worker yelling from the top of the escalators that the train would not be arriving at this platform, or even this building.. we would need to take the airport shuttle to another terminal to catch our train. 
Since we were the first there, we were some of the last to make it to the escalators. And now at the end of a long long line for the shuttles. 
We've now been trying to get to our train for 2 hours. 
An hour in this line which ends up being funneled down a small staircase and we made it to the airport shuttle! 
However its been long enough that we can't remember which terminal we need to get off at. 
We ride the shuttle to far and have to ride it back. No problem, we are finally in the right place!
The tickets we bought don't work. The man at the information doesn't speak english. YAY! I get to speak French. 
He tells me my French is very good and he lets us through the gate. :)
Finally after 3 hours we are on the metro! Its wonderful!
We get off at the Gare du Nord and try to decide which road to take. 
Looking at the map we decided we've got it and start walking.
At the next map we're not sure where we are, so we walk some more. and some more..
Finally we realize we're lost. 
I ask a bus driver who points us in the opposite directions of where we've just come. We chose poorly. 
Dragging suitcases and carrying backpacks is exhausting work! and I am getting grumpy because its now been 4 hours since we got off the plane. 
Finally we see the road of our hotel.. we follow it, and follow it. 
Arrival at our hotel is 2pm. Its a very nice hotel in the middle of Paris!
We lay down for a nap at 2:30pm. 
Kennan is out.. I wake up around 5pm and ask if he wants dinner. He groggily refuses and I go back to sleep. 
At 8pm I wake up and enjoy watching French TV until I fall asleep again. 
At 7:30 am the next day we wake up. Happy to be in Paris.